i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize