weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize