hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
