I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
