Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
