I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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