Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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