maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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