Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Still dying that you shit outside
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
