I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
