it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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