I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
