that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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