I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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