I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
