Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
