Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
