Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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