i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
