I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Houston, we have a blender
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
