I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
