Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
