There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
