Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize