I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
