There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
