What a fucking waste of an outfit
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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