I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
