If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
