Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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