If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
