come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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