dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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