so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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