Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
