So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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