So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
