Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
