my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
