Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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