how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
