He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
should my penis look like a turkey
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
