is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
