we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize