so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
