the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
