i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
