WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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