she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
