Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
