Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
