Do you still have your period?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
