I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
