Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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