I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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