Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just had sex on a roof
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
