don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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