I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
