A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
