I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize