White coat. Heels.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
