Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
