Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
