i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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