This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
