1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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