It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
