Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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