It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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