your room smells of hookers.
And success
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am mentally ready for anal.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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